‘Fresh flower’

Even though I may look, sound and seem insatiable according to the opinion of many individuals, I am not. 

I like the fine things of life and I treasure simplicity. 

A couple of years back, a friend asked, ‘Chidinma I want to get you something for your birthday, a necklace to be precise.’

It was going to be my first set of gold jewelry from anyone but my mum and dad and Aunty maybe. 

Boy was I excited.’he said simple or custom?’ 

I rememebered I wanted to have my name on a pendant at some point but I went for simple. 

Simple because the finer things of life are the simplest things. 

Sophistication is excellent.

Elegance is beautiful.

But a free, happy spirit can never get it wrong. And so in my hustle to get a lot going for myself, to be comfortable, to be happy, to give gifts (yes, it’s my love language) and to be GREAT. 

I pray that I don’t loose myself and that I uphold my dignity and sanctity like a beautiful white rose bloosoming in Spring. 

three birds and a human

….at the end of the day all this is about a picture I took that was photobombed somehow by a human which I thought was a bird. Do I really have any inspiration or reason for writing this, I asked myself the question and my sub-conscious said it was okay to “let people into my head” as I do not always do this often.

  
The most entertaining thing about this picture is that it almost describes the happenings in my life.
This is the part where I promise it’s entirely a fictional and tell the story of the good witch, which was once bad but found good in her evil.

I imagine the fatigue that comes with flying at night. All night, attending meetings where you have to cackle loudly. (Lol, that’s the image Hollywood and Nollywood has painted in my head, pardon me). The headache that comes with all the stress.
Haha, remember, this was about letting you into my head.
This good witch is good and in some societies the reward of good is a long term one. You’d have to wait. But hey, if I was a witch’s child, I may be the one to force my mother out of starvation and maybe hunger to take the short route- breaking bad.
But I’m not a witch’s child and mum raised no desperado.
Mum raised a sound, moral child with good teachings. With a few mistakes I’ve learnt to value her warnings and heed to her instruction ‘more’.
I just want to make her proud.
I don’t know if its creativity but I keep staring at this picture and I feel this writeup is almost like it, for sometimes I see three birds and at others two birds and one human.
Sheer confusion maybe, still yet…
Welcome to my “head”

-Dinma

To me, Lover.

I found joy when I found you,
Who even knew you existed? I thought I had lost you, I thought you were irrecoverable.
But you were here all along, I’m sorry I ignored you, I wanted too much but you were more than enough.
Even with my neglect and conclusions of losing you forever, you lay by my side, you saw my preposterous activities and you were numb to them. Not judging me.
You, I was unfaithful to you. I wanted to be free and radical but you were my perfect match.
You were me. The real me…. The ireneenebeli.wordpress.com.

Not untamed, but me.
I’m grateful that we’ve found each other again on this memorable day
9-11-15
Even as the souls lost rest in peace, I rest on my bed in peace, thankful to The Maker King that I have found you.

-Dinma x

This institution!!!!

Making rules and regulations is very much easy. Its one person’s thought or just a few people’s thought representing that of the entirety of a population. And this many represented by this few cannot but accept their fate because as we know, we have yielded our ‘powers’ to this body of rule or law makers.

Social contract theorists such as Thomas Hobbes, J. J. Rosseau, etc. postulate as to how man lived in a care-free society. Disorganized, a society where life was short, nasty and brutish, where everyone did what they pleased but an inherent nature and quest for development and organization led to the organization of the state or goverment to head the affairs of the society. Things have been working well since then, but a time came to still have a government. A one which eveyone ruled, it was called Democracy, Liberal Democracy.

It is the adaptation for the 21st century but no, some have rejected this norm as they feel man has to be organized and confined and put under subjection. Is this right? Is this medivial or just conservative. Because i believe in structures but this institution to which i belong to has no physical structures but its organizational structure hasn’t been clearly defined. 

As a student of politics, i know that law making has a definite process, there has to be the passing of the first bill? The second? A lot of debates? Possibly opinion polls? Law making can be seen as policy too and as i have learnt, policy has to be goal oriented and solve a basic and pressing problem. Take note, it is a general problem, but this institution and its power cabal are solving their own problems to the decadence of the majority who have paid whooping amounts of money only to be treated illy. 

I believe that there is a clear cut difference between discipline and sheer wickedness!! Ask Mohammed Buhari. 

I shan’t complain anymore!!!

My joy of Pain

I have seen pain, or as we would say, felt pain. But i know why i used ‘see’ because when i felt pain, it wasn’t just my sense of touch- my skin, that felt pain, my eyes also saw pain. Don’t worry it wasn’t the pain of labor, at least my baby cocktail would make me forget what i felt. But no, this wasn’t the labor of childbirth, it was the labor and toil of a girl who had lost her way and couldn’t find it. It was the pain of a lad who was so confused about the happenings around her she didn’t even have the strength to give up. It was the pain of shame. It was the pain of regret, of something she wanted to call hatred but she couldn’t because she just couldn’t.
It was the pain of loss… Of deep deep loss. She didn’t lose a loved one, she lost herself and she didn’t even know if she could go on
Nobody knew this but her and those who really knew her. She couldn’t explain this pain but everyday her heart ached because she wasn’t satisfied, she had a yearning for greatness but how was she to go about it and walk this path of greatness. She knew not because the more she tried, the more it seemed like she fell back. She was really confused. Those who she looked up to hadn’t described this feeling she had, except one and his words keep her going everyday. And she has the hope and knows that one day, this pain of this phase would be a testimony and a lesson for another phase. She has realized that this pain has to come to be joy.
She has learnt this from life itself… That the pain of childbirth brings a beautiful new testimony of a baby and the pain of even making your hair as a lady only brings you to look much more beautiful.

So this pain that she feels she has prepared to know that she must face it with her strength… All of her strength, and conquer because she has come to realize that she has The Strongest and unconquerable Jehovah.

This is my joy of pain… My temptation after the forty days.

.. Dinma

My fear of “ends”

Is it just me or do I just have issues with ending my stories including the ones I try to live every day on a happy note… Some fairy tale happily ever after ending that is wisely desired!
I’m told not to ignore the little beginnings but those who saw the beginning want to see a good end; everybody does. I ask myself if I can dare to call myself a prolific writer because I seek perfection but first I want expression but not everybody gets to see things my way or give me a listening ear. There are the Adiches, Achebes, Hemmingways, Shakespeares, Orwells, great story tellers that leave critics and Literature teachers puzzling and deducing what message they tried to pass and even though they might have just been caught up in the moment, the dynamism and nature of words can bring forth many different meanings but as someone who is blessed to write, your sole task and objective is to see a problem, think on the problem, lay down your thoughts on that problem or topic you have identified, your solution may not be the best but like a domino you have triggered a spark in whoever may have come across your work.
I may not be a Maxwell or a Munroe, or even a Trump and my audience may not be large but I dream that someday this would happen but I fear that the human nature may cause me to get overly ambiguous but you know it’s funny because as we climb the ladder of success the view is different on every level and as a “merchant of thoughts in written words” and as someone who decides to make a change, it is your task to let everybody else see this view and for us who can’t see this view yet, we imagine!
But the amount of change we can cause is limited because we as humans have an end- a sad one which could be made happy with making indelible impacts in our worlds! A list of the “Unforgettable” is endless!
That we may also be listed with our impact and change!

……a note from my mind

“Seeing is believing”

…..and whatever we see forms an image that forever remains on the paths of mind for as long as we can remember and even for as long as we live. We’d call them “memories” and when we pass on its “history’.

They’re supposed to be just normal life activities that will come to make us to be remembered eventually. And these activities with a little determination will be folklores for the generations to come.

Memories of being good humans, memories of saving lives, memories of love, memories of happiness and of success. It couldn’t have been any realer when we lived it but sitting back to reminisce and hear the stories and testimonies of the lives we touched, only then can we ourselves and others around us see and know the kind of history we’ve made even though those who have already gone before us have predicted this end. We only live “the means” to this predicted and maybe desired “end”

Everything we do, we do with a passion. We do “good” with a passion; a passion to impact lives positively but those who do it negatively have a reason, an excuse maybe. I for one sometimes think that those who do the “evils” which the morals which our societies push against seem to be the happiest. But is it really true? But I know there is still that pain and anguish, that bad memory which forever hunts each and every one of us. We’re Humans!!

A memory which we live to regret, it could be not being there when our loved ones took their last breath, or maybe us just regretting going out that late at night and having been raped or robbed, driving drunk, that wrong decision we made. They’re countless but why should we live to be bound by these memories?

They never stop coming to us; life-denting images of regrets entangling us and pulling us back towards a feeling of failure which eventually leads to failure and then utter destruction. Destruction which we may never recover from for life. And it is only wise and needed and cliché to say “Amen” “Amin” through Christ our Lord; Insha Allah.

We can pray prayers to avert the evils which is nearly inevitable and serve The Maker King through whatever we believe in. Jesus? Holy Mary? Mohammed? Buddha? The Universe? The devil? Confucius? Amadi-oha? Sango? Ifa? Whatever or whoever you serve or believe in you have to believe in with an unfailing doubt and “passion” if not it may not answer. From praying 7 times a day to sacrificing something precious to get something you need. Remember you may not enjoy it, that’s why it’s a sacrifice but then I remember hearing that great people do what they do not like to get what they love and I tell you those things they love do come to them. I’m talking positively and citing Mohammed Ali who jogged every morning by 4am as a form of training before he emerged as a World Champion we see “passion’s reality”.

There we go again talking passion. I’m not known to be an inspirational writer but I only say what I know has continued to work for me and many others. And with a desire to make an impact in this steadily degrading world I can only but address this 7-lettered word which can bring perfection literally and in reality.

I believe all things can be done and done right! Find a talent and work effortlessly to perfect it and make it not just an ordinary talent but a passion. And don’t restrict to just for money-making for as long as you love it, the dividends of your self-developing would be harvested. As long as its God-given and human-received with joy then nature would multiply. It’s a law, a rule that cannot be broken. So when you fail 8 times rise 9 times or even more. Your efforts would take you there, be creative, see through your minds’ eye and believe. Don’t be blinded, see whatever entanglements and situations there maybe as a holographic image. Let your mind be your real world and see your success come alive and bad memories wiped away and “joy” realized.

and maybe then you’d realize that seeing is indeed believing when you’ve seen with your minds’ eye and you’ve made your mark indeed.

Inspirationally motivated By “He” whom I believe in,

And forever,

Remain

His ‘Dinma

 

The Water Theory.

I’ve been on this project for a while but I’ve never ever come to a conclusion. I considered atheism at a point but I sincerely didn’t need to know it wasn’t needed.
I was brought up to know a man, a great man known everywhere all over the world, worshiped in different forms but yet those different forms can never be compared to this one true Trinity.
He can’t be likened to any other. His mysteries make me quaver. He shows Himself in the most mysterious ways.
He is said to be the creator of the heavens and the earth, he created the trees, animals, the sea everything by mere words. But me, my kind, He created in His very own image.. molded In his likeness and breathed into.
He made my kind mysterious, just like him. He made my kind wise just like me but we can’t be all knowing. We haven’t come to fully understand how He exists in this manner.
Well this is the simplest way after my search for more knowledge about “my mirror”. This is what He taught me.
He said to me “Look at the waters, they exist in three forms; gaseous, liquid and solid forms but yet they’re still the same thing and return to the same thing- Water! So is He! He’s the God the father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit either ways He’s still God!

(I leapt for joy)

In the existence of water, In gaseous form, In liquid form and even n the solid form, It can’t be held by the human hands for too long except with the help of something extra.. A cup, A gas cylinder a bowl or piece of thick cloth maybe and trust water, anything water touches its impact is felt.
Well so is my God. You can’t experience Him and remain the same because He’s God! He’s God!!
Water revives, restores and destroys.. My God does that also but He’s merciful still and true and He controls Water! Large bodies of water have creatures alive in it- We live in God!

He’s all knowing, the creator of all, the one true lover. You really really can’t exist without Him. He’s touch is filling and even like water He’s ever needed. It’s basic, you need Him to survive.
When I got this I was in tears, when I wrote this I was in tears because I can’t come to understand why with all my sins He loves me, He still shows Himself to me. And when I mentioned my sin I remembered “the fall” and He told me that this is why I sacrificed my own to pick you up when you fall. He gave me the Holy Spirit but before Him came the only son! The one we could see and feel and that could be like us but He was pre-destined to fall the “greatest” in order to allow me see this mysterious God someday.
He suffered!! He.. He suffered and He was killed. He didn’t deserve to die that way but in all that He proved Himself the ultimate lover when He exclaimed “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” but yet still went on to die. He could have flown away from the cross like Thor or Captain America but he remained and died so that the veil may be torn and we may be crowned in glory by “merely” accepting that He died and He rose again.
Water may be life and a savior for the thirsty but He is the Water of Life! The everlasting spring and definitely “the science” behind water itself.
I love God more than ever today and forever!
I remember Easter! I remember Christ!!!
I love my Maker King,
And I remain solely forever His ‘Dinma!
Happy Easter.

What is this?

So I’m seriously contemplating on what hairstyle to do next and I’m asking “The Boo” for an opinion and he’s just shoving me off and saying “Do whatever you want to do” or “Is it my hair?”

And I’m asking a close friend or associate if I’m making the right decisions or acting or behaving in a way which may be annoying maybe, pleasant or even disgusting and he or she’s saying “I’m fine” or maybe even insinuating that I’m perfect and I go and face the whole world with this notion only to be told the truth by a stranger and we can vouch for the fact it hurts the most then.

But if that stranger isn’t telling us the truths that our friends have refused to tell us and us in our self ignorance or denial have refused to tell ourselves then we won’t be changing at the pace which we would be changing.

I’m very keen on meeting new people and exploring possible relationships and areas which we could partner together. Probably you’d be teaching and I’m listening some of the time (but I won’t be listening so much if its Rated “R” like Parental Advisory ;). You Know!)

Well I meet someone and I’m like “Hello, I’m Mirabel” and the person goes all (especially for the opposite sex) you’re pretty and taking a complement courtesy demands I appreciate this complement.

Is it just me or am I just imagining. Because I can’t seem to find intellectual conversations anymore without subliminal messages hidden underneath those pretty little but well selected words.

That aside, I start a conversation with you and you’re not brainstorming and you’re basically saying vain things, you’ve lost me! Like we’re just going to be friends like hi-hello kinda friends. But intellectual conversations intrigue me especially when the person involved is able to balance the humor with the intelligence and also the cockiness! 😉

‘But this conversation was different. He started out with a cocky topic and in his cockiness he enlightened me! He was good at his game! He knew my type of girl! We talked more. He was going to be more than a hello-hi kinda friend. He was going to stay. He was going to get my number that evening, call me up in the next 2 days after I have stabbed myself outta frustration yearning like a young baby just to hear his voice. I felt really clumsy having not asked also for his number.

DARN FUNA! Stupid boy! “Spoiling show for me”. Funa was my “gay” best friend that had a girlfriend named “me” 😀

Yes Ikemefuna was my boyfriend now an “ex-boyfriend” because you know this new hottie was now in the picture! Funa lived a care-free life. People never believed we had been going out for about 5years. Funa was a designer and he had his clothing line and was responsible for dressing the both of us each time we had a public appearance. Funa always always stole the show! I mean it was his show and I gravely respect that. He made me feel inferior, but every time I looked in his eyes I saw that he loved me too much and that he didn’t want to lose me so he being an extreme paranoiac, would literally kill if anyone ever approached me even the girls. He called them “agents”.

Well this young gentle man I met recently just met actually saw I and Ikemefuna walk into the party but because of the way he was overly dressed and the chemistry that was ablaze between I and “Larry” was amazing; it was different. So I didn’t even know when I shoved off Ikemefuna’s topic and said he was gay in the most relaxed manner even though I knew I wasn’t relaxed within me! I really wondered if any one that knew us well had heard what I had said but I didn’t care at this point. This conversation I wanted to keep!

We talked business, work ethics, talked about people we knew generally and even talked and laughed about a fighting couple who were at WWIII with their eyes only. It was amazing because the stare and fire and tension in their eyes eased away immediately they had friends come over to say hi. He spoke almost in a whisper “They love each other too much” and I turned knowing fully well that this was the truth because they were indeed the host of the party and I knew them well.

They had met each other at a fashion fair, they are both well to do and proud as well as egoistic so there were a lot of quarrels as to who would pay for dinner, what restaurant to eat at, who would pay for the wedding dress, urrrghhh she was so stubborn but she had an excuse to be the way she was. She was boxed up and us that were managing ourselves just watched!

Well, deep down they loved each other, completed each other and well made each other happy. Funa for a while I thought completed he me. He wanted something that seemed like our hosts’ marriage and so I always found myself have dinner or lunch with them and being lost in conversations I knew nothing about but had previously memorized because Funa didn’t want himself to be disgraced.

We go on with this life of pretense. Funa feeling pretty rich while I knowing the truth beneath the lies had “mistakenly” bumped into the credit notification letters at his apartment one very good day. Funa was struggling but he had to mask it up. I on the other hand had to make my own efforts myself but I recently gave up and started living who I really was after I met the “stranger”

We got close, he visited my house, he spoke “Prada” so he knew most of the clothes in my really stuffed up and over flowing wardrobe. Yes! He got into my room, he got comfortable in my bed and listened to me whine and tell stories about my clothes, my favorite pieces, the pieces I never liked but he did and yes he loved Cavalli too.

He asked me directly why I stepped my fashion sense down and I trusted him to tell him the situation of things and what happened happened.

Funa was ignorant or maybe just blind because I began to acquire new stuff. New expensive beautiful things and then when we arrived at a party and I was for the first time complemented and recognized, that bothered him.

But I had been to different tourist centers in the past few months that would take people two lifetimes to complete and yes sales for Funa’s Couture had increased and the debts paid off.

But Funa didn’t recognize that,but breaks my upper lip with a punch for taking a complement and stealing the show

………..Was he just proud, blind or jealous? He claims to want me back!

 

…. Still Dinma

For Friendship and for Sisterhood!!… For My Amaka!

Ok so it’s Osai Jasmine Chiamaka’s birthday.

I really don’t think I want to make a habit of writing birthday shout-outs on my blog because its more like a very sacred place for me but I wouldn’t mind sharing it with people that honestly mean a lot to me.

December 15 is one special date and so is the 23rd of February going to be every year!

I have butterflies in my stomach writing this because I don’t think words would be able to express how I basically feel right now.

We may have our differences most certainly but we’d always be the two girls that are skinny together! Pretty together, lovely together, look-a likes if you may say but what the hell I’m cuter! 😉

I love you today and I’d love you even more tomorrow and even in the future!

You’ve been there for me when I was sad. I’ve been there for you when you’ve also been sad and we’ve always had our ways of helping each other and that’s something special and very dear to my heart!

Anybody can say what they want to say but all I want to you know is that you’re always going to be that cute little chubby girl who i met in “Children Church” about some 8, 9 years ago and you’re still here today!

I promise I’d be a better friend, please forgive my excesses. I wish I was perfect enough!

Today you’re older and you’re legal. I’d respect you!

And I honestly wish you even more things than I wish myself!

Do the right and leave the wrong!

The Maker King shower His endearing love on you ceaselessly.

Because of you “Prof.” Osai is blessed, Deaconess Osai isn’t left behind in all the blessing!

Jason, Jable, Jade and Judah would always have you to love and you’d also have ’em too!

I love you!

Happy Birthday!! 🙂

‘Dinma