My joy of Pain

I have seen pain, or as we would say, felt pain. But i know why i used ‘see’ because when i felt pain, it wasn’t just my sense of touch- my skin, that felt pain, my eyes also saw pain. Don’t worry it wasn’t the pain of labor, at least my baby cocktail would make me forget what i felt. But no, this wasn’t the labor of childbirth, it was the labor and toil of a girl who had lost her way and couldn’t find it. It was the pain of a lad who was so confused about the happenings around her she didn’t even have the strength to give up. It was the pain of shame. It was the pain of regret, of something she wanted to call hatred but she couldn’t because she just couldn’t.
It was the pain of loss… Of deep deep loss. She didn’t lose a loved one, she lost herself and she didn’t even know if she could go on
Nobody knew this but her and those who really knew her. She couldn’t explain this pain but everyday her heart ached because she wasn’t satisfied, she had a yearning for greatness but how was she to go about it and walk this path of greatness. She knew not because the more she tried, the more it seemed like she fell back. She was really confused. Those who she looked up to hadn’t described this feeling she had, except one and his words keep her going everyday. And she has the hope and knows that one day, this pain of this phase would be a testimony and a lesson for another phase. She has realized that this pain has to come to be joy.
She has learnt this from life itself… That the pain of childbirth brings a beautiful new testimony of a baby and the pain of even making your hair as a lady only brings you to look much more beautiful.

So this pain that she feels she has prepared to know that she must face it with her strength… All of her strength, and conquer because she has come to realize that she has The Strongest and unconquerable Jehovah.

This is my joy of pain… My temptation after the forty days.

.. Dinma